3.30. Living Room.

Good night, Mama. Good night, me.

This carpet is a little hard against my back, but no matter, sleep is inevitable at this time of day. And I think I just heard the rustle of Mr. Sandman’s pyjamas; he has been waiting here for hours. I’m sure he’s here to entirely extinguish this flame of consciousness and alertness I have left.

So good night again, Mama. This camping in the living room that we are doing is a bit weird.

Good night, Papa. You shouldn’t be sleeping yet, but heck, you need it.

Good night dear Paeng and Iking. It’s almost time for you to rise soon.

Ah, and good night sun-sama. Please don’t arrive yet—I know it’s already time for you to come up, but please, please, let me sleep and enjoy the dark for the time being.

12.00. Dentist’s Clinic.

I think I didn’t here that correctly, Sensei. Did you just say slice? You mean might tooth?! *gulp*

-

I think I’m dying, Sensei. It hurts, really. And I am not one to tolerate pain to begin with. I feel like crying right now. If only I could, I really would… I hope we could stop. Please.

-

My face must be really awful, eh, Sensei? You even thought to ask me if I was alright. Of course I’m not! But carry on, it’s your duty, and that’s why I pay you, right? So, even if I don’t want to say this, even though I might be lying, yes, I’m alright, Sensei. And go ahead, slice right through my tooth again. But I’m not sure I won’t make a face.

They’re right: time does not heal wounds; it only makes you used to it. And I think that’s what I’m experiencing right now. I think my gums are numb. All this pain, and it is intensifying—I can hear the sound of the blasted thing Sensei is holding against my tooth become more sinister, dangerous—but, for the love of all things holy, I can’t feel it! Perhaps I’m pretty much used to the pain by now. It’s been—what?—ten minutes since she started slicing my tooth, and thank heavens I’m still alive!

15.00. Bedroom.

I think I’m dying. Really. But I can’t. I have many things in my life that I still want to fulfill…

Ugh. It’s the time of the month again. It’s at times like this that I dislike being a girl. But when I think of it, if I wasn’t a girl, I wouldn’t be interested in Sherlock, and that would be unthinkable. So no, I have to endure this no matter what! Fight-o!!~

It’s during this time I remember to be thankful to my parents. Mama, for stroking my arms and telling me it’s alright, and Papa for searching a cure for the pain. But really, who needs reasons. I’m simply thankful to them for so many things.

And to God, I’m always thankful, for He brings me home when I’m in pain, surrounding me with people who love me and care for me. That, and for, of course, relieving me of the pain afterwards.: ))

I’m pretty whiny, aren’t I? At least, like this, I can appreciate better the pain that Jesus Christ went through during His passion. I think it’s not the nails that hurt Him the most, not even the crown of thorns, but it’s the sins that we did that pained Him most of all.

But when I think about it, the crown of thorns I surely can’t bear without crying, would I be able to save humanity with that? I think only Jesus cares enough to do that.

These are the things I'll miss, since I'll be leaving again later this evening.

Title quote from Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho).

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Three days into the ten-day break, I am still as unproductive as ever. But if you count watching numerous anime episodes as productive, then scratch what I first said.

So far, I watched four episodes of Kimi ni Todoke, five episodes of Nyan! Koi, one-half episode of Umineko no Naku Koro ni, three episodes of Hayate no Gotoku!, and one episode of Kobato. That, and this week’s Hagane no Renkijutsushi (2009) episode—the thirtieth—and its first OVA release.

Also, I saw concert DVDs with my family. Yesternight was that of Eric Clapton and last Saturday night, it was Santana’s.

Talked to Mama and Papa last night on the phone. They read my second to the last blog post, it seems and Mama's a teeny bit worried. Asked if I was alright, and if my phone (which was acting out for a couple of days) was fixed. I knew I was okay, I don't know about my phone, though. It was working perfectly yesterday- today, who knows? Ah, such a fickle-minded little Naoki (my dear mobile phone's name-- it's an anagram of its brand :P).

Yea, I was alright already. The CS 123 exam turned out just as I expected it to be. And I studied real hard for it. Really, really hard. I hope, I pass the subject No, scratch that, I know I'll pass the subject. "I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good, night..."

And need I say more that my life plan obviously doesn't include me failing any subject? I have written explicitly that I will graduate a regular student. :D

Ok, so this post is mainly a thank You post for the Divine Hand that made the impossible possible. Yes, Father, thank You so much. :D


And I hope You don't mind me asking for another favor, do You, Father? Anyhoo, I dedicate my passing of today's Chem 14, 14.1 exams and the back-to-back (yes, two) defense on CS 22. I hope I defend that Machine Problem correctly. I can't afford to let Axel (my MP partner) down.

But where else will I get the strength to reach for those victories, but from the Father Himself.

TQ!! , Father.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Awesome, my y!messenger contacts are still wide awake, probably cramming for tomorrow's exams, like I am.

The thing Tina told us in her agitated speech, I could not understand them. I didn’t know whether it was because she said it in a rush, or my mind just constructed a semi-penetrable barrier against what she just announced.

I continued to sing, although in the middle of the song, my enthusiasm died out. My classmates’ depression over the news was getting to me, although I wasn’t depressed yet myself.

And I sang:

I’ll fix these broken things,
Repair your broken wings,
And make sure everything’s alright...

-
-

This was the news: 13 people failed the CS 123. Apparently, I was included in that unfortunate group, having only graced 40% average for both lecture exams.

I'm watching anime when I shouldn't be right now.

There's the second CS123 lecture exam on Monday, Math 101 research paper, Chemistry lectures I missed and must now study in case there is a pop quiz on Monday... Laundry asking to be done... House screaming to be cleaned...

But then there's also the awesome Bakemonogatari that keeps me hooked, Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 asking to be downloaded, Hunter x Hunter waiting to be burned in DVD, His and Her Circumstances burned for me by my sensei... The possibilities are endless...

Plus, there's also an angsty AsuCaga fanfiction idea running around in my head for days now, begging me to finally pen it..

-
-

So here's what I thought I'd do: get off the computer, but keep it open, downloading anime episodes I am keen to watch. Right now, I must tend to the laundry, and make this house neat. Later tonight, I am going to study, and while taking breaks, I can watch the anime episodes I downloaded.

The fanfic will have to wait for later. Besides, I already have a rough draft of how the story goes in my mobile phone.

Sounds like a good plan?

-
-

And I can't resist putting an image of my current favorite anime on this post:


I started watching the series last Thursday... Right now, I'm downloading the 5th episode, but I cheated and watched the last episode first. It was such a cute fluff of an episode. Gave me the toothache.

Title comes from a Facebook application I took. It was the advice the AI gave me. Perfectly works for me though, despite it being random...

Also, image was only Googled.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

It's 1:00. Sunday. A new week. Thank God.

The past week was pretty miserable, that's why I'm very thankful it's finally a new week, then I'd get to start over.

Monday was pretty much okay-- there are no classes.

Tuesday started lame. It was raining so hard, our professor who is always late arrived even later than usual. But he did arrive still-- that is the unfortunate part. He still had the opportunity to taunt my program. Someday his sarcasm will-- er, I honestly don't mind what his derisive nature would do to him.

Also, in my mind I knew I could have reported better, so the thought is slightly disappointing.

Perl-sensei's birthday surprise turned out anything but surprising. Again, that was just irritating. Although it was nice that she enjoyed what we made for her.

Wednesday was rainy as usual. I heard there is a typhoon so it isn't odd for it to rain that hard, nonetheless, the mood is generally gloomy when it is raining. It's annoying. But at least I got to see Mama that afternoon. It cheered me up greatly. :3

That night, Tina-- on a spur-of-the moment decision-- stayed with us in the house. She worked until morning -- 6am the next day for the CS123 homework.

Later that Thursday in school, Chester already managed to finish the parsing our xml document, which now put a lot of pressure on me since I'm the only one in our group not yet done with the my part of the machine problem.

Friday. Is Always Math day. I got only 26 out of 30 for the Math 74 lab exercise. Duck. And the problem set was very hard for a nutter like me.

And my cousin arrived with her boyfriend. And she kept ignoring me as per usual.

I broke a glass from the window pane. Only I know about it yet.

I was just plainly miserable last week. But not to worry. I know how to still count my blessings.

I'm still breathing, and that by itself is a miracle I'm grateful of. I can still correct the wrongs I did in the past, and never do them again.

Our plans for Perl-sensei's birthday pushed through. Never mind that it wasn't anymore a surprise.

Sir 22 didn't come to class. I don't think it was a good thing, but it's a breather.

My mother came to see, did she not? I miss my family, but that just goes to show they miss me as much. I love all of them: Mama, Papa, Paeng, and Iking. And Polgas ii.

We did not check our Chem 14 exam yet, because if results were given last week I wouldn't hope for much. It's a twisted logic I know, but this week I feel more confident.

At least I did get a 26 out of 30. I thought it should be lower, but sir was so kind.

My friends genuinely tried to help me with the problem set. I just love them.

My cousins are gone for now. I can study freely, at last.

Title is a proverb, which means, you cannot tell if a person's life has been happy on the whole until that person's life is over; no matter how happy someone is now, something bad may happen to destroy his or her happiness. (thefreedictionary)

Or the other way around.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.